Soren and the Rubik's cube
by shadowgamer94
Summary: Ever wonder if Soren is smart enough to figure out a Rubik's cube? Well please read if you answered yes and enjoyed hilarious Rubik's cube induced chaos. Rated T for mild swearing.


**Soren and the Rubik's cube**

Just a fan-fiction created by playing way too much Fire Emblem Radiant Dawn with retarded friends

"Speaking"

'thinking'

Disclaimer: I really, _really_ wish I owned Fire Emblem, but I don't.

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The Greil Mercenaries and co. were staying in a small fortress just recently liberated from Begnion for the night since it was convenient. The fortress was only two stories high, but on the east, west and south sides of the fortress was a dense forest inhabited by some of the most wild and dangerous creatures in Tellius, including very mischievous monkeys. Soren was walking down a long corridor intent to get to the mess hall since he was previously busy.

"Hey, Soren!"

"Hn, what do you want now Ike? If you don't mind, I was heading to eat dinner." Soren was in a bit of a grumpy mood due to hunger. He hadn't been able to eat lunch because he was busy planning the next strategy for the laguz alliance.

"Sorry, it'll only take a minute. Have you ever heard of a rubik's cube?"

"A what?"

"A rubik's cube." Ike said while pulling out a strange 3 X 3 cube with many colors from his pocket.

"What in the name of Ashura is that?" Soren had to admit, his curiosity was slightly invoked at this curious looking device.

"Apparently you turn these rows of different colored blocks like this," Ike turned the cube a couple of times to demonstrate, "until all the colors are with each other to form six different colored faces, one face for each color: red, blue, green, yellow, white, and orange. Do you understand, Soren?"

It was one of the only times Ike asked _Soren_ if he understood something, and it was the _only_ time Soren did not. But he didn't want to let Ike think he was losing intelligence or something like that.

"Yes, it seems simple enough." Soren lied.

"Oh really? Well no one else can figure it out so I thought maybe you could since you're such a brilliant tactician." Ike didn't tell Soren the whole story. What he didn't tell him was that everyone in the Greil Mercenaries bet if Soren could or couldn't do it, 50% said he could and 50% said he couldn't, and Ike bet _a lot_ of money that Soren could.

Soren pretended to think about it for a second, even though he had already decided that he would do it, before answering. "Yes I see. Well then I shall take this challenge." Soren then took the rubik's cube from Ike and immediately set to work on it.

"Well OK then. Good luck Soren, I know you can do it." With that Ike walked off to eat dinner leaving Soren standing alone in the hall trying to figure it out.

At first Soren thought he would solve it even before Ike walked away, but it was proving to be much more difficult than he had anticipated. He stood there for another twenty minutes, his moves and turns of the cube growing more annoyed, frantic, and angry by the second! He was cursing under his breath and was about ready to chuck the cube somewhere and forget about it, but then he would lose the challenge Ike set for him (even though Ike never actually said it was a test or challenge).

"What the . . . why won't it solve. Maybe if I do this . . . no, but what if I . . . no, well how about this . . . no, well this should . . . dammit!" If anyone walked by just then they would see a strange, once-in-a-lifetime sight. They'd see Soren playing with a multicolored cube and mumbling to himself while swearing occasionally.

For another ten minutes Soren fiddled with the accursed cube until he realized if he stood there too long he'd miss dinner. 'If I eat something then my brain power will be restored, and I'll solve this ridiculous puzzle in no time!' he thought. Happy with this logic, he pocketed the cube and headed for the mess hall.

On the way there, he noticed his right hand twitching toward the pocket he put the cube in. 'Oh fine! I'll work on it on my way there.' He pulled the cube out and once more tried to solve it.

When he entered the mess hall, he was still fiddling with the rubik's cube, and didn't notice Boyd, who was just leaving as Soren was coming in. Soren, too preoccupied and agitated, actually knocked_ Boyd_ over, and just kept walking as if nothing had happened! Everyone who saw was left as stunned as Boyd was.

"Did...did Soren just knock _me_ over!?" Exclaimed a confused Boyd. "Rolf, did I just get pushed onto my backside by a guy a third my size?" Boyd asked.

"It appears so. I wonder if Soren's been hitting the gym instead of the books now." Rolf replied.

Boyd continued sitting on the ground for a few more moments thinking (A/N: Boyd thinking!). "Or maybe," Boyd started, "Maybe I'm just getting lazy! That's it! Back to training right this instance. You too, Rolf!"

"W-what!? I don't think," Rolf started but Boyd cut him off.

"Nonsense, you could use some extra pounds. Onward!" he bolted up and threw Rolf across his shoulders and sped off to train. "Ahh! Help me Oscar!" was the last thing anyone heard from Rolf . . . or at least that night.

While all this was happening, Soren had gotten dinner and sat down next to Ike at the end of the long table to eat, however he couldn't concentrate on his food since he was still messing with the rubik's cube. After a while, he got so angry with it he threw it down the table, accidently crashing it into the soup of . . . King Tibarn!

"What the hell! Whose is this!? I swear I'll kill the person who tried to make me look like a fool!" Tibarn yelled to the rest of the room. Everything had gone silent when Soren stood up and calmly walked up to Tibarn.

"That cube, Tibarn, is mine and I'd appreciate it if you'd return it to me. And for your information, Tibarn, making you look like a fool isn't something you need help with." The air was tense as Tibarn glared down upon Soren while Soren calmly glared back.

"Oh . . . you mean this?" Tibarn asked while holding up the cube and sneering with clenched teeth. "Hmm, I think . . . not!" and Tibarn chucked the cube out of the second story window, into the dense wooded area surrounding the fortress, and unfortunately for Soren he threw it out the South side which had a small cliff falling far into the forest.

"No!" Soren yelled. If he lost the cube, then he wouldn't be able to finish the challenge and he would fail Ike! Without thinking he jumped out the window to get it. As he fell, he let out one last comment to all, "Oh Shit!!"

He hit the ground hard, but fortunately nothing broken. The first thing he did when he got up was check if he landed on the rubik's cube. Unfortunately, the rubik's cube wasn't even in his immediate area. He began his search since he was already down there anyway. After one hour in the woods with no luck he noticed something multicolored in the shrubbery.

"Ah ha! I've found it!" he yelled in triumph. However, when he tried to pick it up, he realized it wasn't a multicolored cube, but a multicolored mushroom! One of the deadliest mushrooms in Tellius! It produces a deadly poison through an acid from its skin, and could poison with the slightest touch.

"Ahhh! I'm poisoned!" Screamed Soren, and he ran off into the forest in a very uncharacteristic panic (but hey anyone would panic like a girl if they were about to die). He stopped suddenly when he noticed the herb that was supposed to be the antidote to the poison. A herb with five blue, pointy leaves and a prickly stem it had to be it! He ate the bitter leaves and calmed down, then he resumed his search.

He came upon a giant tree in the middle of a clearing with vines hanging from it growing wildly. He was just going to pass it by when he got hit on the head by . . . feces! He looked up just in time to dodge another batch thrown and he looked up into the tree to see his assailant he spotted a colony of monkeys. They were all jumping up and down laughing wildly at him. He was angry enough with his day, and it took tremendous effort not to burn the monkeys with a spell, but he refrained, seeing as that wouldn't help anything.

He was about to ignore them and leave when he noticed one of the monkeys had the rubik's cube! The one that did seemed bigger than the rest so Soren could only assume he was the chief of the monkeys. Soren had a quick little debate with himself about the situation at hand.

'Should I go up that ridiculously large tree infested with monkeys? Is it even worth it? What am I thinking? Of course it's not! Going up that humongous death trap of a tree, and for what? A stupid, infuriating, and puzzling cube! But if I don't get it and solve it, what will happen to my pride? Ike might start thinking I'm getting unintelligent and unmotivated and I might lose my purpose! Ugh, fine, I'll go up and get the damn cube!'

He started up the tree with a new determination, finding it quite easy thanks to the vines. He had made it half way to the monkeys when they started bombarding him with nuts, fruits, and of course, feces. It became a tough climb trying to avoid the "missiles" while still going forward. He had almost reached them when the chief did something unspeakable. He threw the rubik's cube! It was intended to hit Soren, but these monkeys didn't have very good accuracy so it missed by a foot and went tumbling down to earth.

"No! Not again!" Screamed Soren, and he jumped off the ridiculously high tree after it. "Dammiiiit!" and down he plunged.

Once again he hit the ground hard, but this time he had the rubik's cube in his hands. He groaned as he got up, but he felt a sense of victory at regaining the rubik's cube. However, he noticed something different about the cube. It . . . it was solved!? 'It had to have been the monkey,' he thought. Then it hit him . . . a _monkey_ solved a puzzle he could not, in a much shorter time!

"AHHHHHHHH!" he screamed in anger and threw the cube into the air, casting arcfire on it, exploding the cube into pieces.

*pant*pant* "Well, that's done. Now I've got to find my way back."

"Soren!" someone called. Soren turned around and saw Mia running toward him.

"Mia? How did you find me?" he asked.

"Well I saw a huge explosion in the air so I followed it here." Mia explained.

"I see. Well I . . . didn't find what I was looking for." Soren didn't want anyone to know he was outsmarted by a _monkey_, least not Mia because, to be honest, he had a small crush on her.

"Oh, OK," on the inside Mia was a little disappointed because she also bet he would solve it and now she had pay the lost wager, "By the way, why do you smell so bad?" she asked.

"Grr, it's-it's nothing. Let's just get back." He replied. "Hey I have a question." He said.

"Sure, what is it?"

"Um, why were you out looking for me?" he asked.

"Well it's not just me. Most of the Greil Mercenaries are out looking for you. Besides you're my friend and favorite tactician. We are friends right?" She asked with a smirk.

He had a small blush but turned his head to hide it. "Uh, y-yes we are . . . friends."

"Good, now let's get going!" She grabbed his arm and pulled him all the way back to the fortress.

A while later Soren was walking in the hall to his bedroom when a voice stopped him.

"Hey, Soren."

"Hn, what is it Mia? I'm quite tired."

She pulled out a piece of paper with a bunch of boxes on it and a few numbers placed randomly throughout it.

Mia said with a smirk to rival the Cheshire cat, "Ever heard of Sudoku?"  
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Finally got this story up, how'd you like it? Tried to stick to just humor, but I couldn't help myself so I hoped you all liked the little Soren X Mia fluff at the end. First time you ever seen Soren swear loudly or panic like a little girl? Well here it is in all his uncharacteristic glory. Hoped you all enjoyed. Read & Review please.


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